When left to my own devices.
I start to dissociate.
The more I dissociate.
The more at risk I am to isolate.
The more I isolate, the more alone I am.
But isn't that better? After all, it's still just going to be me looking after myself.
At the end of the day.
That's all it is.
..I guess somewhere I still want to be normal. Or get a hug when I'm sad.
But I can't be self sufficient then.
And I need to be. Because relying on people has almost always let me down.
...The only people I can rely on are my family. And even then, they've hurt me on their own.
Mind, everyone hurts you in the long run.
Isolation probably isn't the answer, and terribly unhealthy. But I'd rather protect myself then be duped like a fool again.
I still feel duped, at times.
I'm scared when I dissociate.
That it's getting easier.
I'm scared.
Fuck
I start to dissociate.
The more I dissociate.
The more at risk I am to isolate.
The more I isolate, the more alone I am.
But isn't that better? After all, it's still just going to be me looking after myself.
At the end of the day.
That's all it is.
..I guess somewhere I still want to be normal. Or get a hug when I'm sad.
But I can't be self sufficient then.
And I need to be. Because relying on people has almost always let me down.
...The only people I can rely on are my family. And even then, they've hurt me on their own.
Mind, everyone hurts you in the long run.
Isolation probably isn't the answer, and terribly unhealthy. But I'd rather protect myself then be duped like a fool again.
I still feel duped, at times.
I'm scared when I dissociate.
That it's getting easier.
I'm scared.
Fuck
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